Happy holidaze: a Christmas playlist
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Published: December 21, 2011
Published: December 21, 2011
'Tis the season to be, well, lots of things. Overwhelmed by family obligations, annoyed by numbing doses of holiday muzak streaming from the speakers at just about every big-box chain (I'm not naming names here), and let's just say "bemused" by the presence of so many jolly, white-bearded Santas in so, so many car commercials (a particular pet peeve of mine). Don't worry, I'm not going to go off on a dated rant about the commodification of Christmas or get all scrooged up about the long lines at Target or the alarming abundance of subpar, made-for-tv holiday movies that have been cutting into my obsessive viewing of "Criminal Minds" reruns (Patinkin or Montegna?: sometimes I just can't decide. . .). Instead, I've been hunkered down in my music bunker (it's a virtual space: I haven't gotten around to building the actual one just yet), putting together a nostalgic little playlist for my holidaze.
No, I haven't uploaded it to Spotify just yet. Maybe next year. Until then, here are my ten picks for an admittedly old-school, punk rock-leaning Chrismukkah that I might actually foist on my friends if I'm feeling particularly fiendish this weekend. . .
1) The Sex Pistols, "Holidays In the Sun" (1977).
I realize that Johnny Rotten wasn't thinking mistletoe or candy canes or silent nights when he laid down the sneering vocals for the Pistols fourth incendiary single and what would be the opening track on the band's only proper studio album, Never Mind the Bullocks. No, he was contemplating a "cheap holiday in other people's misery," channeling nuclear anxieties ("I didn't ask for sunshine and I got World War III"), and, if I'm not mistaken, commenting on the boom/bust cycles of economic bubbles ("I wanna see some history/'cuz now I've got a reasonable economy"). Any of that sound familiar?
2) Dead Kennedys, "Holiday In Cambodia" (1980).
Not sure if this was intended as an answer to the Sex Pistols, but how could it not have been? Against an eerie surf-punk guitar riff, DKs singer Jello Biafra works himself into a characteristically caustic frenzy over the unintended consequences of a protracted overseas war that caused a lot of consternation here on the homefront and didn't necessarily accomplish what it was meant to. Again, sound familiar?
3) The Ramones, "Merry Christmas (I Don't Want To Fight Tonight)" (1989).
Okay, so the Ramones were well past their prime by the time they recorded this little holiday nugget for Brain Drain (a/k/a the "Pet Cemetery" album). But they were still more than capable of cranking up the distortion and putting their own stamp on the holidays with the late Joey doing his best to croon couplets like, "All the children are tucked in their beds/Sugar-plum fairies dancing in the heads/Snowball fighting, it's so exciting baby/Yeah, yeah, yeah. . ." Plus, the title really is so perfectly Ramones.
4) The Pogues, "Fairytale of New York" (1987).
Original Pogues frontman Shane McGowan still had most of his teeth when he sparred with Brit-pop singer Kirsty MacColl in this epic holiday duet by this Irish rock group who artfully split the difference between punk attitude and traditional Celtic folk. "You were handsome/You were pretty/Queen of New York City/When the band finished playing/They yelled out for more," goes the back and forth between the two young lovers, before bittersweet memories lead the two to conclude, "Happy christmas your arse/I pray god it's our last." But there's a kind of redemption in the end as McGowan proudly declares, "And the boys of the NYPD choir still singing Galway Bay/And the bells are ringing out for Christmas day."
5) The Kinks, "Father Christmas" (1977).
Ray and Dave Davies must have been plugged into the same juice the class of ’77 punks were powered by when they delivered this angry yet melodic salvo written from the point of view of a couple of beggar boys. "Father Christmas/Give us some money/Don't mess around with those silly toys/We'll beat you up if you don't hand it over/We don't want your bread so don't make us annoyed," goes the chorus. And in the last verse, the singer comes right out and asks Father Christmas (that's what they call Santa over in England, or so I've been told) to give his "daddy a job." Kinda rings true this holiday season.
6) Keith Richards, "Run Rudolph Run" (1978).
Long before he convened the X-pensive Winos, Keith took a break from the Stones to deliver his first solo recording as a Christmas present of sorts. It's just a straight-up version of the oft-covered Johnny Marks/Marvin Brodie novelty hit first popularized by Chuck Berry in ’58. Keith doesn't do anything fancy with the tune: he just sticks to the Berry blueprint and has an infectiously good time with it.
7) The Mighty Mighty Bosstones, "This Time of Year" (2007).
The Bosstones may best be remembered for helping to ignite the ska-punk revival that, for better or worse, flashed and burned in the early-’90s. But they had a lesser-known talent for penning straightforwardly catchy, revved-up, melodic punk tunes like this seasonal salutation to being home for the holidays, hanging with old friends, and making the best out of the Christmas season. "There's crap, it's true," admits raspy voiced Dicky Barrett, "What can you do?/It's simply spending it with you/That keeps me looking forward to/Forward to this time of year." Exactly.
8) Frickin' A, "Merry Merry Merry Frickin' Christmas" (2004).
They may be from Cincinnati, Ohio, but when the Red Sox won the World Series for the first time in like a hundred years back in 2004 after coming back from three games down to beat the Yankees in the ALCS, Frickin' A rose to the challenge and revised this already amusing Christmas send-up into a holiday gift to Red Sox Nation. So, after the Sox historic collapse in the final month of the 2011 season, I'll be consoling myself with lines like, "School's out/Christmas break/Back to Boston/The Red Sox in four straight." Next year. . .
9) The Raveonettes, "The Christmas Song" (2003).
Almost embarrassed to admit that I found this little treasure on Music from The O.C.: Mix 3 — Have a Very Merry Chrismukkah. And I do wish that the Danish duo had opted for a less generic title for this moody little number — something like "I Wish that I Could Stay," as in "All the lights are coming on now/How I wish that it would snow now/I don't feel like going home now/I wish that I could stay." But it's a nice, bittersweet, slow-dance treat for the end of the night. . . or, of course, the early morning hours.
10) Lady Gaga, "Christmas Tree" (2009).
Yes, I know the good Lady Gaga made headlines a few weeks back when she released her version of the Irving Berlin classic "White Christmas," replete with an extra verse she wrote herself because the original felt "too short." And maybe the new A Very Gaga Christmas would be a good way to close things out. But even with the extra rhymes, she plays "White Christmas" too straight. I much prefer the old, bad-grrrl Gaga, fa-la-la-la-la-laing about her own, ah, Christmas tree to the tune of a thumping techno-funk beat.
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